Stress Free Mama

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Save your Life with Smart Goals

Joe Simpson has a lot to teach us about focus and the power of small, manageable, smart goals. Goals saved his life.

When faced with an enormous task, smart goals can break it down to manageable pieces. Joe Simpson instinctively knew that he must save himself with specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and timely goals. These small chunks helped him to crawl to safety in a story that is extraordinary and unbelievable

A Broken Leg, a Blizzard and a Cut Rope

Siula Grande MountainsIn 1985 Joe Simpson was 19,000 ft. up at the top of Siula Grande in the Peruvian Andes on the 4500 ft. West Face. He fell, severely breaking his leg. Storms were coming; he and his partner, Simon Yates, were out of heating fuel; and Simon and Joe were climbing Alpine style, which means that they had no camps along the climb, no extra supplies, no help.

They were alone.

Their story is heroic and unbelievable. Simon lowered Joe with a rope 300 feet at a time down the mountain. He lowered Joe over and over until he accidentally lowered Joe off a cliff. Joe hung on the rope looking at a 100 foot drop below him, unable to move up the rope or get down to the bottom. And at the same time, Simon hung onto Joe for hours, not knowing what had happened to Joe, and not knowing why Joe did not release the rope so he could climb down the mountain and meet him. Simon hung on during a storm until he, too, began slipping down the mountain.

Joe SimpsonSimon made a terrible decision. He cut the rope and let Joe fall.

Joe fell into a crevasse and landed on a ledge. After realizing that Simon would not find him, he lowered himself 150 more feet to the crevasse floor, and climbed up 130 feet through a side passage out of the crevasse.

He crawled, slid, hobbled and fell for miles and miles, across glacier and rock bed to get back to the basecamp.

And he did this all with no water, no food, frostbitten fingers, and a leg that was completely shattered.

How did he do it?

“And then it occurred to me that I should set definite targets”

Joe Simpson from “Touching the Void” directed by Kevin Macdonald and produced in 2003.

Joe’s story is a gut-wrenching example of SMART goal setting. And while it may seem incongruous to compare how Joe survived his life and death ordeal to setting goals in our small, ordinary lives, I believe that Joe’s story is a testament to how powerful this technique is.

Over and over, Joe set small, doable goals to get his life back. He clung to these little tasks and had laser focus in their completion.

He got his life back 20 minutes at a time.

“I started to look at things and think, ‘If I can get to that crevasse over there in 20 minutes, that’s what I’m going to do.’ … And it became obsessive. I don’t know why I did it. I think I knew the big picture of what was happening to me, and what I had to do was so big, I couldn’t deal with it.”

Joe Simpson from the movie “Touching the Void”.

Never have I heard such dramatic and poignant use of SMART goals. Crawl for 20 minutes to the next rock. Then crawl for 20 minutes more. Specific. Measurable. Attainable. Realistic. Timely. Over and over. Joe focused his mind on the small goals he could manage instead of being overwhelmed at the enormity of his situation.

“I’d look at a rock and go, ‘Right, I’ll get there in 20 minutes.’ Once I’d decided I was going to get that distance in 20 minutes, I bloody well was gonna do it. And it would help me because I’d get halfway through the distance and I would be in such pain, I just couldn’t bear the thought of getting up and falling again. But I’d look at the time and think, ‘I’ve got to get there.’ ”

Joe Simpson from the movie “Touching the Void”.

His focus was complete. His goals were his only attention.

S.M.A.R.T. Goals

One of the ways to face a stressful situation is to break it into smaller tasks, and have each task very attainable and with measurable results.

This technique, called SMART goals, stands for

  • Specific,
  • Measurable,
  • Attainable,
  • Realistic, and
  • Timely.

While most people use this method to manage normal life circumstances or to complete a project at work, Joe Simpson did exactly this when is saved himself in 1985.

Joe crawled off a mountain, with a leg that was so badly broken that his lower leg was pushed up through his knee, splitting the bone above. He crawled for miles until he finally reached safety.

For Joe, his SMART goals literally saved his life. Unlike most of us, Joe’s stress was not a function of modern life–stress which has perceived negative consequences but not actual life-threatening risk. Despite the difference between Joe’s circumstances and ours, Joe’s story offers great help to us all.

S.M.A.R.T. Goals Reduce Stress

Extreme stories like Joe’s are beacons to what is important in less extreme circumstances. Whenever I feel a task is too big or against all odds, I remember Joe crawling 20 minutes to the next boulder. Completing one simple job within a big project, making it through one difficult day during an emotional crisis, reacting one time with patience and humor instead of anger, one step at a time, we can all make our bigger goals.

Joe Simpson’s story is told in his book “Touching the Void”, published by Harper Paperbacks in the revised edition in 2004. It is also told in the movie “Touching the Void” directed by Kevin Macdonald and produced in 2003.

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Improving your Sleep and Relaxation Naturally

There are many ways to improve your sleep and relaxation that are natural and healthy. Obviously, the first step to alleviate your stress related insomnia is to reduce stress. But once you can’t sleep, try these ideas to get your rest and feel refreshed.

Nine Ways to Get to Sleep

  1. Pretend you are sleeping. When you have sleep problems, remain lying down with your eyes closed. Pay particular attention to the wonderful night noises and give thanks for being awake and blessed with experiencing the night.

    Do you Listen to the ‘Experts’?

    Many experts advise getting up when you can’t sleep and doing some quiet activity. “There’s no point in tossing and turning,” they say.

    I have found this advise to be silly and this tip is the exact opposite. Experiment. See which works for you.

    Staying down is directly opposite advice that many specialists give, but in the morning, I find that I was not really as awake as I thought. I was actually dosing off and on all night and by staying down, I could take advantage of my little naps. I have also observed this in other people when they say “I was awake all night”.

    If you get up, you are definitely not sleeping and will be tired in the morning. Try pretending you are asleep and see if you can grab a few winks.

    2. Woman needing sleep and stress relief

  2. Intend to tire your body. If you must get out of bed, do it with the intention of tiring your body for rest.

    Working at night is fine if you enjoy it, but with insomnia, your goal should be sleep and relaxation. Don’t get to work on your to-do list, and don’t get sucked into a movie you have always wanted to watch. Your purpose is to tire your body and get back to bed. Do a quiet activity only until you can sleep again.
  3. Keep a pen and paper next to the bed. When your mind is racing or creativity is flowing, keep a pen and paper next to the bed in an easily reachable place. If you have a “to do” thought, write it down, but keep your eyes closed. Do not turn on the light. Stay sleepy but write down your thought and erase it from your mind.

    When creativity is flowing, and a great story idea or poem scrolls through your head, write it down too. If possible, write it down in the dark and make an effort to lie back down right away and go to sleep. Try not to fully awaken.
  4. Child’s Pose. This advice for sleep and relaxation was born when I was pregnant and insomnia because my belly was too big. Lie in your bed in the yoga pose “child’s pose” until you fall asleep. This pose never fails.

    There is one caution: this method is only for very fit people. When you fall asleep in child’s pose, your circulation to your legs is cut off. Eventually you wake up slightly and roll over, but your legs tingle and burn as the circulation returns. If you have circulation problems, don’t try this technique.
  5. Homeopathy. Homeopathy works great for improving your sleep and relaxation. Hyland’s makes an excellent sleep remedy called Calms Forte (affiliate link).

    Homeopathy is based on the idea of “like cures like.” When you take a remedy of a plant which can cause symptoms like insomnia, it will cure insomnia. In Western medicine, this a bit similar to how vaccines work, but with homeopathy the doses are incredibly minute, so dilute that they are almost nonexistent. Homeopathy is safe and very effective.

    You can find Calms Forte at most health food stores that sell homeopathy.
  6. Drink warm milk. Milk has calcium which can help you sleep and relaxation. Plus grandmothers have been advising this for years. I find it works well. Try adding a little vanilla extract for flavor. You may find this better than teas because it doesn’t make you pee right away.
  7. Herbal remedies. There are many herbal remedies, teas, supplements and tinctures which can help your sleep and relaxation. Try chamomile, catnip, hops, kava kava, valerian or passionflower. If you don’t know what to try first, go to the health food store and see which remedy pops out to you. Often your intuition is the best guide.
  8. Melatonin. Melatonin is a hormone which naturally occurs in your body. This remedy is particularly suggested when your sleep problems are due to a disruption in your regular sleep schedule. If you have worked late or have jet lag, try melatonin. Take the supplement 30 minutes before bed.
  9. Ignore your mind. Sometimes your thoughts are so busy marching around in your head that you can’t sleep or relax.

    Practice ignoring them.

    Notice when your thoughts take you to your typical story, the same old dialogue, your regular worries. When you see this pattern direct your attention back to the quiet of the night.

    Notice how your feet feel. You can not be able to simultaneously feel your body and fret. It is likely that you will have to repeat this over and over, just like teaching a child, but eventually, you will become more skilled at keeping your thoughts quiet.

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Good Sleep and Stress Relief with Aromatherapy

Having a good sleep and stress relief are both possible with aromatherapy. Essential oils are excellent and soothing the nervous system. Find out which oils are best to start with and have a great sleep.

Insomnia is the poster child of aromatherapy.

Lavender bundleIf any condition has been studied and restudied to see the affects of essential oils, it is insomnia, and the oil of the day is lavender.

However, as effective as lavender is to promote a good night’s sleep, there are many other oils which can be equally beneficial to relieving sleep disorders.

Why Can’t you Sleep?

The first factor to look at with sleep disorders is the root cause of the insomnia.

Can the cause be corrected by a behavioral change (eating earlier in the day, reducing alcohol or caffeine consumption, etc.)?

Are your sleep problems resulting from a physiological imbalance? Physiological imbalances may include decreased melatonin production, a natural result of aging, excessive stress, depression, long term use of some medications, chronic pain, etc.

If there is a cause below the insomnia, then it is always best to address that cause in addition to the insomnia.

To begin, assess your daily routines and make any behavioral changes which make sleep as easy as possible. Exercise, eat early in the evening, avoid stimulants, etc. Make everything in your bedroom ready to suggest sleep, so put away any work, business materials or anything that stimulates your mind.

Want Excellent Sleep and Stress Relief?

Choose one of the following oils and give it a try. If it doesn’t give you relief, then try the next one. Aromatherapy gives quick results, so suffering night after night, hoping that an oil will work will not usually change the results. Each body is different so you may need to find the oil especially suited to you.

  • Lavender. Lavender is the first oil to try for both sleep and stress relief. It has been used for centuries for insomnia. Try putting a few drops on a tissue next to your pillow and see if your sleep improves.
  • Chamomile. Chamomile has been used for a long time to soothe children. It is calming and relaxing and combats depression and stress.
  • Jasmine. Jasmine is technically an “absolute” and not an essential oil. Interestingly, the flowers must be picked at night for maximum fragrance. Jasmine is used for anxiety, depression and insomnia, as well as just because it smells nice.
  • Melissa. Melissa has been used to heal the heart or the emotions. It is calming and uplifting and balances the emotions. If you can’t sleep because your heart is aching, give Melissa a try.
  • Valerian. Valerian is widely recognized as a mild sedative and sleep-aid, including by the German Commission E, a German government regulatory agency that has studied herbs for efficacy and safety. For many nervous conditions, you can try valerian.
  • Peace & Calming blend. This is a marvelous blend which smells delicious (it contains tangerine) and both uplifts and calms. I diffuse this blend in my massage room before giving a massage to create a restful environment. This blend is often used with overactive pets and children because it is so lovely and effective. Rub a drop or two on your arms and chest and smell it as you sleep.
  • Dream Catcher blend. This blend helps open you for creative dreams while inhibiting negative ones. I would try this blend if my sleep was not satisfying. Use Dream Catcher to stimulate creativity while sleeping.

How to Use Essential Oils to Improve Sleep and Stress Relief

There are several ways to use these oils to improve your sleep and stress relief. You can inhale the aroma by putting a drop on a tissue near your bed, or using a diffuser. Any way you can enjoy the scent will bring the relaxing effects to your body. Inhalation is most recommended for emotional support.

You can also use the oils topically. Rub a drop or two on your palms and then rub it on your arms. You can put a drop on your chest so that you smell it during the night. If you want the benefits of the oil, but you don’t want to smell it, rub some on the soles of your feet. The oils can penetrate your skin and soothe your nerves.

Aromatherapy can be used for emotional, spiritual and physical relief of all your stress symptoms. You can use them everyday for many common tasks. Anytime you inhale the oils, you receive the benefits of them.

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Self Massage: Great Stress Relief

A woman giving herself a massageSelf Massage?

Hardly seems like fun.

Yet self massage is a great way to get the benefits of massage when you don’t have someone to give you a massage.

Massage is one of the best antidotes to stress. It is very hard to ground yourself and stay calm when you are in the throes of a stress attack. But, when your headache goes away, and you can move your neck again, you can figure out your next steps. You have clarity. You feel like yourself.

Massage can be used a number of ways. Sometimes it is great to massage for the sheer luxury of it. Many women enjoy massaging their feet just because it feels so good. Instant relaxation.

But other times you may massage certain parts of your body because they are in pain. Massaging your shoulder muscles (the trapezius) can relieve some headaches. Massaging you posterior neck muscles can relieve neck pain and stiffness.

The Benefits of Massage

Massage offers many benefits which are very helpful to reduce stress and increase relaxation.

    • Massage relaxes muscles and releases tension. Often you “hold” yourself as if by having a tight neck, you can prevent the world from crashing in on you.
    • Massage increases blood flow and oxygen to the tissues. And in addition to improving your circulation, it reduces your blood pressure.
    • Massage brings you into your body and reminds you to be more present. When you feel —really feel— your presence in your body, your hands and your feet, you return to the present and relax.
    • Massage stimulates the energy pathways (meridians) in your body. This can return balance to your body and prevent or correct health problems.
    • Massage increases flexibility.
    • Massage alleviates headaches.
    • Massage lessens depression and anxiety.
    • Massage releases endorphins for natural pain relief.
    • Massage boosts your immune system. This is especially good because stress depresses it.

 

To Learn Self Massage Techniques

You have a few options to learn how to massage yourself.

You can start with general massage like “How to Massage your Foot“. Any massage, anywhere will increase your relaxation.

Or, if you have specific pain you want to alleviate, look at the pain charts to see where the source of your pain may be. The pain you feel from stress is not always where your tense muscle is.

Sometimes pain is referred. For example, the muscles on the side of your neck (scalenes) can be tense but you feel the pain down your arm and into your hand.

I have grouped the massages by muscle group. Don’t get bogged down by this. If you want to just give yourself a massage, ignore the muscle names and pick your body part.

General Massage Articles:

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Get an Online Yoga Workout with “My Yoga” on Gaiam TV

If you want an online yoga workout, then My Yoga on Gaiam TV (affiliate link) is your yoga paradise. With hundreds of videos available on demand, with unlimited downloads, it’s the Mecca of online yoga classes.

The beauty of My Yoga is its variety. To reduce stress, you may need a restorative yoga workout one day, and an energizing one the next. Maybe you need instructions on stretching at work. Maybe you need prenatal yoga. One day you want a 60 minute workout, and the next day you only have 10 minutes.

My Yoga has hundreds of workouts, from dozens of teachers. There are many yoga styles, and many different themes in the yoga practices: short practices, long practices, beginner, advanced, pilates, meditation–My Yoga has so many choices that you’re bound to find something that suits you. It is truly a library of online yoga workouts.
My Yoga on Gaiam TV
If you want a truly flexible program, one that can accommodate your every mood, every interest, every physical concern, My Yoga is your online yoga program.

My Yoga on Gaiam TV Features:

  • Many different yoga styles including Hatha, Power, Ashtanga, Vinyasa, Kundalini Yoga, and others.
  • Practices on many themes including prenatal yoga, standing poses, sleep and relaxation, core, weight loss, and more.
  • Extra practices including Pilates, Dance, T’ai Chi, and meditation.
  • Yoga at Work classes so you can stay healthy at work too.
  • Clearly marked levels so you know if its for you.
  • Searchable by category, length, level and teacher.
  • Over 100 different teachers.
  • Videos are 5-90 minutes long.
  • Yoga guides to help get you started.

My Yoga on Gaiam TV

Try My Yoga Now